Valentine's Day!It is February, and that means Valentines Day! Time for roses, chocolate candies, stuffed animals and expensive dinners leading to a romp in the bedroom. This year, sadly, I join most of my friends in the world of being single, what I like to call Singletopia. Why do I call it Singletopia you may be asking? Well, because I do, so just deal with it. Instead of getting presents from a girl whom I adore but only tolerates me, the gifts I get will be a chocolate rose from my sister that she bought at her middle school and a heart-shaped Reese's Peanut Butter Cup! As thrilled as I am for the rose and peanut butter cup, I am that much more excited that I don't have to spend any money on anyone (unless of course I buy myself a good romantic comedy at a local shoppping area and a carton of ice cream...ah, I mean, umm, an action movie with blood and guts and a bag of chips. Yeah I meant the later one. I swear).
Since this is the first Valentine's Day that I've been single since 2003 so I'm looking for things to do and thought I'd put some of my ideas down here.
1. Buy a 30 of Natty Ice and a box of chocolates. Throw The Notebook in the good ole Playstation 2 in and proceed to drink the Natty Ice and eat the chocolate. Why Natty Ice? So I get drunk quicker and I feel the pain of being single.
2. Find a couple single guy friends and head to a bar for a night of drinking and not hooking up with girls because most of the ones going out that I will end up talking to have boyfriends and the ones that go out that I won't talk to because their crazy don't have boyfriends.
3. Find a couple single female friends and head to a bar for a night of drinking and not hooking up with girls because none of my friends will hook up with me or help me find a girl to hook up with. Bitches.
4. Find all my single friends and head to a bar for a night of drinking and not hooking up with girls because my good-looking guy friends will beat me to the single girls that aren't crazy, leaving me with the, um, larger girls, and the crazies and my single girl friends will be hitting on any and every single guy there. Also I'll probably end up singing along to a song that I like and getting some Irish guy to come up to me and tell me "I'm not over you either, boy-o." (Ok, he didn't actually say "boy-o", he said "man". But I like to think he did cause he's Irish. And maybe he wans't gay but his friend was wearing a bright purple scarf and that's iffy).
5. Secretly find out what/who all my ex's are doing and go pay a visit. Be really creepy and run into them at the local bar or club they go to, making them feel very uncomfortable around their men and friends and making me laugh. Also, it makes me look creepy, or dark and mysterious, depending on the level of your sanity.
6. Sit at home with a box of tissues and a chick flick movie.
7. Sit at home with a box of tissues and a chick getting "flicked" movie.
8. Call the girl I know I could hook up with but most likely wouldn't want to for a variety of reasons. (If you haven't gotten the hint that I'm not into you then see the movie He's Just Not That Into You and see if that gives you any hints as towards what my actions mean).
9. Call the other girl I could hook up with but most likely wouldn't get to for a variety of reasons, such as she isn't looking for a relationship, which leaves me single on Valentine's Day but with a chance of action. (I expect to wait for the sequal She's Just Not That Into You and watch that myself).
Or, 10. I can just sit back with available friends and have a few drinks and good laughs.
Whichever idea I choose it doens't change the fact that I, like many American's, am single on Valentine's Day. But because I'm single doesn't mean I have to be alone. I mean you, the reader, may even want to hangout, huh? Would ya? No? Alright, I thought it was worth a shot. So whether you're alone, with friends or spending the night with your special someone remember the poor sap (me) and others like him that are single but still having fun and have a Happy Valentines Day!
Bitches.
1. Buy a 30 of Natty Ice and a box of chocolates. Throw The Notebook in the good ole Playstation 2 in and proceed to drink the Natty Ice and eat the chocolate. Why Natty Ice? So I get drunk quicker and I feel the pain of being single.
2. Find a couple single guy friends and head to a bar for a night of drinking and not hooking up with girls because most of the ones going out that I will end up talking to have boyfriends and the ones that go out that I won't talk to because their crazy don't have boyfriends.
3. Find a couple single female friends and head to a bar for a night of drinking and not hooking up with girls because none of my friends will hook up with me or help me find a girl to hook up with. Bitches.
4. Find all my single friends and head to a bar for a night of drinking and not hooking up with girls because my good-looking guy friends will beat me to the single girls that aren't crazy, leaving me with the, um, larger girls, and the crazies and my single girl friends will be hitting on any and every single guy there. Also I'll probably end up singing along to a song that I like and getting some Irish guy to come up to me and tell me "I'm not over you either, boy-o." (Ok, he didn't actually say "boy-o", he said "man". But I like to think he did cause he's Irish. And maybe he wans't gay but his friend was wearing a bright purple scarf and that's iffy).
5. Secretly find out what/who all my ex's are doing and go pay a visit. Be really creepy and run into them at the local bar or club they go to, making them feel very uncomfortable around their men and friends and making me laugh. Also, it makes me look creepy, or dark and mysterious, depending on the level of your sanity.
6. Sit at home with a box of tissues and a chick flick movie.
7. Sit at home with a box of tissues and a chick getting "flicked" movie.
8. Call the girl I know I could hook up with but most likely wouldn't want to for a variety of reasons. (If you haven't gotten the hint that I'm not into you then see the movie He's Just Not That Into You and see if that gives you any hints as towards what my actions mean).
9. Call the other girl I could hook up with but most likely wouldn't get to for a variety of reasons, such as she isn't looking for a relationship, which leaves me single on Valentine's Day but with a chance of action. (I expect to wait for the sequal She's Just Not That Into You and watch that myself).
Or, 10. I can just sit back with available friends and have a few drinks and good laughs.
Whichever idea I choose it doens't change the fact that I, like many American's, am single on Valentine's Day. But because I'm single doesn't mean I have to be alone. I mean you, the reader, may even want to hangout, huh? Would ya? No? Alright, I thought it was worth a shot. So whether you're alone, with friends or spending the night with your special someone remember the poor sap (me) and others like him that are single but still having fun and have a Happy Valentines Day!
Bitches.
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1 comment:
i find #2 to be offensive. you won't talk to these girls "because their crazy"? that's horrible.
it's "they're" dummy, not "their".
just inexcusable. i'm so offended.
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